Mirroring

Map Branches

• Why?
  • Charisma
  • Drawing people in
  • All walks of life
  • Sean Connery
  • Sir Richard Branson
• What is it?
  • Alike people
  • Like each other
  • Pillars
    • Communication
      • Malaysia
    • Understanding
    • Trust
  • By the end of this presentation
    • You can connect with anyone
• Communication - Ray Birdwhistle
  • 7% Word
    • Think about / understand / logical connections
    • Key words / phrases
    • Common experiences
    • It was a dark and stormy night...
      • Draw them in
  • 38% Tonality
    • Voice
    • Tone (pitch)
      • Up - question
      • Flat statement
      • Down - Command
    • Tempo (speed)
    • Timbre (quality)
      • Klangfarbe
      • Tone color
    • Volume
  • 55% Physiology
    • Posture
      • Spine
      • Head tilt
    • Expression
    • Blinking
    • Gestures
    • Breathing
  • Boston uni
    • Brain wave spikes
• Understanding
  • Mirroring
    • Physical
      • Match (reverse) / Mirror
      • Cross over mirror
        • e.g. breathing with tapping finger
    • Representational
      • Visual
        • Picture
        • Neat
        • Organized
        • Sit up straight
        • Talk fast
        • "see"
      • Auditory
        • Move eyes side to side
        • Talk to selves
        • Like music
        • Talk on the phone
        • "rings true"
      • Kinesthetic
        • Breathe from stomach
        • Respond to touch
        • Move and speak slowly
        • Things need to feel right
        • "get a feel"
      • Auditory digital
        • Listen to inner dialogue
        • Decisions on list of criteria
        • Things need to make sense
        • "make sense"
    • Mirroring is natural
      • Children copycats
      • Subtle
        • Start with one aspect
      • Respectful
  • Affects what you think
    • Physology to thought pattern link
    • Smile and feel sad
    • e.g. UPW experiment
    • Don't do it when distress / mental issues present
• Trust
  • Active listening
    • Using their representational system
    • Reflect back statements
  • Honor & respect their world
  • Shared views / experiences
• How to know
  • Indicators
    • Break rapport
      • Re-establish
      • Notice
        • State changes
        • Feelings
      • Sudden movement
    • Guess their views
    • Leading
    • Familarity
    • Excitement / butterflies
    • Color shift
  • State change
    • Eyes
      • Pupil dilation
      • Focused / defocused
    • Lower lip
      • Lines / no lines
    • Breathing
      • High / mid / low
      • Fast / slow
    • Skin tonus
      • Shiny / not
      • (Muscle tone)
    • Skin color
      • Light to dark
• Maintenance
  • Change
  • Grouping
  • Previous shared experiences
  • Sequencing
  • Time base
  • Emotion
  • How to break rapport
  • It's a dance

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