Why do I like you?

Map Branches

• Ch 1 - Weapons of Influence
  • Click whirr - preprogrammed responses to triggers
    • Dr. Ellen Langer - providing a justifying or legitimizing (and reasonable reason) with or before a request to another person, will dramatically increase the likely-hood of the receiver complying with the request. (Langer, Blank & Chanowitz, 1978)
      • reasoning or justifying does not necessarily need to be extensive, simply adding "because ..." to the request may be sufficient.
    • "...automatic, stereotyped behavior is prevalent in much human action, because in many cases, it is the most efficient form of behaving (Gigenzer & Goldstein, 1996), and in other cases it is simply necessary (Bodenhausen, Macrae, & Sherman 1999, Fiske & N
      • "You and I exist in an extraordinary complicated environment, easily the most rapidly moving and complex that has ever existed on this planet. To deal with it, we need shortcuts. We can't be expected to recognize and analyze all the aspects in each person
        • judgmental heuristics
      • When the desire, ability, and resources are available, people are more likely to deal with information in a controlled fashion (their terms), but, when those resources are stressed or constrained (i.e. modern society, work life conflicts etc.) people will
• Ch 2 Reciprocation
  • the rules of reciprocation - one of the most potent of the weapons of influence
    • One of the reasons reciprocation can be used so effectively as a device for gaining another's compliance is its power. The rule posses awesome strength, often producing a yes response to a request that, except for an existing feeling of indebtedness, woul
      • Study by Dennis Regan in 1971 of participants offered a coke and then requested to purchase raffle tickets - offering of a coke (regardless if offer was "authorized" or self initiated) resulted in increased likely-hod of purchases and of significant incre
    • Reciprocation rules enforces UNINVITED OR UNWANTED DEBTS
      • This rule was developed as societies developed, promoting the development of reciprocal relationships between individuals so that one person could initiate such a relationship or action with out the fear of loss
      • Marcel Mauss - French Anthropologist - describes the social pressures surrounding societal gift giving processes in human societies as having an obligation to give, to receive and to repay.
        • "Although an obligation to repay constitutes the essence of the reciprocity rule, it is the obligation to receive that makes the rule so easy to exploit.
          • An obligation to receive reduces our ability to choose those to whom we wish to be indebted and puts the power in the hands of others. p. 31
    • Reciprocation can trigger unequal exchanges
      • Most of us find it highly disagreeable to be in a state of obligation. It weighs heavily on us and demands to be removed.
      • because reciprocal arrangements are so vital in human social systems, we have been conditioned to feel uncomfortable when beholden.
        • If we were to ignore the need to return another's initial favor, we would stop one reciprocal sequence dead and make it less likely that our benefactor would do such favors in the future. Neither event is in the best interests of society. Consequently, we
          • examples: White Christmas - wounded arm
          • also important to note that the burden also appears to extend over time of the debt did not match or can be made to seem unequal to the initial offer.
        • Second reason: a person violating the rule of reciprocation may be ostracized or maligned by society.
    • Other facets of reciprocation:
      • Reciprocal Concessions
        • a person who acts in a certain way towards us is entitled to a matching or similar mirroring or return action
          • so, if a person makes a concession on a price, you are expected to match the concession in spirit or action.
      • Rejection - then - retreat
        • similar to a concession, initial request is purposely aggrandized but not overly, when target rejects offer, counter with "more reasonable" offer (the intended). p/38
• Ch 3 Commitment and Consistency
  • Our desire to act, perform, or present ourselves or our appearances as consistent with earlier actions, statements, beliefs.
  • "Once we make a choice or take a stand, we will encounter personal and interpersonal pressures to behave consistency with that commitment.
    • consistency is a powerful motive because is considered valuable by society
    • Inconsistency is commonly thought to be an undesirable trait - persons with inconsistent, discordant, or otherwise inconsistent beliefs, spoken words, actions, and morals, is seen as confused, two faced or even mentally ill or "off."
    • Persons with consistent beliefs, actions, statements, morals - consistency - are usually associated with positive elements or values such as personal and intellectual strength, the critical elements of logic, rationality, stability and honesty.
    • Autopilot "Quick Fix"
      • consistency provides us with an "autopilot" - once a path, action, belief is selected, consistency or automatic responses to make us be or appear consistent provides a convenient, efficient, and relatively effortless filter or method for dealing with the
        • link with e-learning notes about mental lode
    • Mechanical Consistency "Foolish Fortress"
      • mechanical consistency - unwelcome or conflicting information, actions, or "certain disturbing [conflicting] things we simply would rather not realize" or confront triggers our desire for consistency, reinforcing previous beliefs or perceptions and provid
    • Fear
      • fear of not meeting or matching a previously made promise, oath etc. (i.e. purchasing toys for Christmas)
  • Commitment is the key.
    • once a commitment - even if a small or seemingly nominal commitment is offered by the target, the commitment (especially potent if delivered in writing or before a peer group) can then be used as a gateway to future and/or larger requests
    • once established the commitment can be used for to encourage new beliefs, behaviors, etc. out of a desire to maintain consistency or mirror consistency of others.
    • written
      • actions speak louder than words
      • Writing as a commitment tools is especially potent because:
        • it can not be easily denied by the writer
        • it can be shown to others, and persuade others the author's actions etc os not consistent
      • People have natural tendency to think that a statement reflects the true attitude of the person who made the the written commitment even if the audience knows the author did not write the statement of their own free will.
      • power of the written goal
  • Self Image - if image is discordant to actions and, to a lesser degree, statements, our desire for consistency will compel us to action or selective intake of information.
  • Extra Effort = Extra Value = Greater Commitment
    • "persons who go through a great deal of trouble or pain to attain something tend to value it more highly than person who attain the same things with a minimum of effort." Elliot Aronson and Judson Mills, 1959 as referenced on page 79.
      • like toys, Kim's rocking chair or fraternal organizations - the harder one must work to get the desired item, the greater the increased value to that person.
  • Inner Consistency
    • Commitment tools effective at changing a person's self image and future behavior are active, public and effortful
    • BUT, Commitments achieved through "self-ownership" are more effective at affecting persons' self image or behavior than the combined three. p. 81-82.
    • "Social scientists have determined that we accept inner responsibility for a behavior when we think we have chosen to perform it in the absence of strong outside pressure." p. 82
    • Strong pressures include coercion, rewards, threats,
      • Although an external pressure such as a threat or a reward may compel people to perform certain acts, they are done with detachment and without a personal commitment or investment into the act or related outcomes.
  • Growing Legs to Stand On
    • Commitments leading to or resulting in inner change "grow their own legs" p. 84
      • Once initiated, self-pressure / need to maintain or re-enforce consistency with system of beliefs (new or old), people will seek out, identify or create new reasons or justifications verifying or otherwise validating / justifying actions or choices with s
      • This technique is especially effective at changing longer term individual or societal behaviors or perceptions because the pressures/restrictions compelling person to change / modify their behavior via perceptions or mirroring are self imposed and self re
      • Because of self-re-enforcing nature, initial resources influencing or persuading, such as media campaigns or person to person persuasion, can be slowly but consistently reduced, withdrawn or redirected.
• Ch. 4 Social Proof - Truths are Us
  • In any given situation, the number of people or degree to which people perform a specific behavior determines if or to what degree that behavior is correct. p. 100
    • "The greater number of people who find any idea correct, the more a given individual will perceive the idea to be correct." p. 110 - 111
    • Similarly, if the idea is challenged or threatened, increasing the number of people buying into or otherwise sharing or mirroring the idea will act as a counterbalance or countervailing force to the threat, allowing the truth or validity of the idea to re
    • EXAMPLES:
      • Examples: bar tenders placing dollar bills in a tip jar before service act as a stimulant, encouraging customers to tip because of their perception of others having left a tip.
      • standing on a corner and looking up into the sky, then having others (planned) come and also stair, eventually leading to a group.
      • After 9/11 many people in DC did not take Metro home, while initially out of fear or rumor of malfunction, many have since said they walked or took other transportation because they saw so many other people walking.
      • I.E. cultural or societal habits regarding greetings or personal space, table manners, etiquette, etc.
    • pluralistic ignorance
      • tendency for people to examine / look for/ confirm or verify reactions or ideas in other members of a group and leading to failure to act upon or react to situations such as crimes, accidents, or other times of dire need for assistance.
        • could this also be a reason why people tend to respond in mass to such events?
• Ch. 5 - Liking : The Friendly Thief
  • "Few of us would be surprised to learn that, as a rule, we prefer to say yes to the requests of the people we know and like. What might be startling to note, however, is that this simple rule is used in hundreds of ways by total strangers to get us to com
    • Example: Tupperware party and Joe Girard (Nation's best Chevy Salesman)
  • Why do I like you?
    • Physical Attractiveness
      • Halo Effect - one positive characteristic of a person dominates how that person is viewed
      • "Research has shown that we automatically assign to good looking individuals such favorable traits as talent, kindness, and intelligence."p.148
      • "Furthermore, we make these judgements without being aware that physical attractiveness plays a role in the process." p.144
    • Similarity
      • We like people who are/appear to be similar to us
      • we like people who reflect/mirror/present to us what we "like" or consider positive/desirable in terms of morals, ethics, physical characteristics, religion, etc.
    • Compliments
      • People have such a preprogrammed automatic response to compliments that they are more likely to comply with a request,wish, desire, or suggestion from a person who offers them despite the compliment being a blatant or obvious attempt to persuade a person.
    • Contact and Cooperation
      • Familiarity plays a role in many decisions
        • familiarity affects liking
          • our attitude towards something can be influenced by the number of times it is exposed to us prior to a specific moment
            • regardless of how, why, or how long exposed
          • "...greater liking leads to greater social influence..."p.154
      • Contact involving cooperation or situations where positive outcomes are only achieved through mutually beneficial intent and activity breads positive familiarity.
    • Conditioning and Association
      • i.e. weathermen, people watching TV associate the weather with the weathermen and therefore also associate him/her with responsibility for the weather.
      • People assume we have the same personality traits as our friends/colleagues p.164
      • Compliance professionals use the rule of association (we are what we associate ourselves with) to compel us to acquire things - p. 164
        • we "want" to be known by positive traits so we associate /surround ourselves by what we deem/view as positive.
          • Example: Junior High - everyone wants to be "cool" so they try to hang out with the "cool" kids.
          • Nike High tops + Michael Jordan
          • Natural/Organic trend in 70's and again now (2007 - current day (2009))
      • Conditioning and association linkages also extends to messages received while experiencing things with a positive affect or association
        • I.E. Tucker Movie - luncheon before Senators re: seat-belts - served very rare roast-beef coupled with pics of gruesome deaths by auto accident
        • eating food while receiving a political message p.167 -
• Ch. 6 - Authority : Directed Deference
  • Obedience or deference to authority figures - established, recognized or presumed
    • obedience to authority is mostly rewarded or rewarding
      • therefore it is easy to allow ourselves the convenience of automatic obedience. p.186
    • "The appearance of authority [is] enough." p. 188
      • "When in an [automatic or autopilot] mode, we are often as vulnerable to the symbols of authority as to the substance." p. 188
      • Three main symbols of authority
        • Titles
          • Bestowed - (PHd, JD), MD, Professor, Judge, Editor,)
            • Title based authority can also affect judgement of subject, increasing size, stature, presumed knowledge etc.
          • Titles can also be value driven, representative, or numeric
            • i.e. Jumbo checks = huge donation
            • Name on Bis Card, Door way and relative size/placement
        • Clothes
          • "clothing makes the man"
          • "dress for success"/Dress for the position you want to, not the position you have
        • Trappings
• Ch. 7 - Scarcity: The Rule of the Few
  • Less is best and loss is worst
    • Tools
      • Limited Number
        • "Probably the most strait-forward use of the scarcity principle occurs in the 'limited number' tactic in which a customer is informed that a certain product is in short supply that cannot be guaranteed to last long." p. 206
      • Time Limits
  • Two Major drivers:
    • We know that the things that are difficult to get are typically better than those that are easy to get (Lynn, 1989)- p.208
    • "As such, we can often use an item's availability to help us quickly and correctly decide on its quality. Thus one reason for the potency of the scarcity principle is that, by following it, we are usually and efficiently right." p. 208
    • "...there is a unique, secondary source of power within the scarcity principle: As opportunities become less available, we loose freedoms. And we hate to lose the freedoms we already have." p. 208
      • Psychological reactance theory - " whenever free choice is limited or threatened, the need to retain our freedoms makes us want them (as well as the goods and services associated with them) significantly more than before." p. 209
      • Therefore, when increasing scarcity - or anything else- interferes with our prior access to some item, we will react against the interference by waiting and trying to possess the item more than before." p. 209
        • Censorship - when audiences know or are told with authority that certain information is censored in some fashion, the audience's desire for that information increases and "they come to believe in the information more, even though they haven't received it
        • "... information may not have to be censored for us to value it more, it need only be scarce" p. 218
          • "According to the scarcity principle, we will find a piece of information more persuasive if we think we can't get it elsewhere." p.218
      • Scarcity can not only increase the perceived value of an entity, it can also influence the perceptions of an item (emotional, flavors, intensity, etc.)
        • fewer cookies taste better than abundant cookies (i.e. Mrs Fields, Krispy Cream, Henry wienhards Beer)
• Ch. 8 - Instant Influencers: Primitive Consent for an Automatic Age
  • "Very often when we make a decision about someone or something we don't use all of the relevant available information. We use, instead, only a single, highly representative peace of the total". p. 234
  • "... [W]e have created an environment so compels, fast-paced, and information -laden that we must increasingly deal with it in the fashion of the animals we long ago transcended." p.235
  • "When making decisions under these circumstances, we often revert to the rather primitive but necessary single-piece-of-good-evidence approach." p. 235

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